Turbonegro At Irving Plaza
Turbonegro @ Irving Plaza, NYC: September 14, 2003
Going into Manhattan before my first Turbonegro show was a strange experience. I had heard most of their albums, and they scared me a bit. Known for tunes teeming with tongue-in-cheek homosexual references, these punk rock misfits are legendary for their pyro show and all-out oddness, and they didn’t disappoint one bit. The lines of gay bikers that I thought would be outside the front doors of the Irving Plaza; however, failed to materialize, as a small army of New York hipsters made their way into the ballroom to catch the next big thing.
While there was a small assortment of mustached biker-looking guys inside the club, the true spectacle of the evening was Turbonegro themselves, who took the stage in denim and body glitter, because as we all know (thanks to MTV) “real men wear body glitter.”
The band kicked off with Wipe It ‘Till It Bleeds off their latest effort “Scandinavian Leather.” The crowd, swept into a frenzy as kids in the front row crushed against the barricade with their fists in the air, singing along to anything that came out of singer Hank Von Helvete’s mouth. Clad in a cape and make-up straight out of “A Clockwork Orange,” Von Helvete cried out to the crowd, as his band mates harmonized with well-placed “Yeah-Yeah-Yeahs.” “Never let it dry/ Or it will fucking die/ You gotta let it breathe/ Gotta stretch it out/ Gotta flex it out,” Helvete sang as his gut flapped in the wind, punctuating each verse with a stab at the air with his wooden cane.
The rest of Turbonegro didn’t fail to amuse. Lead guitarist Euroboy cut his teeth on every lick, shredding out leads that would make Kiss proud. Another guitarist, dressed as a country hick, lead the rhythm section with a fierce down stroke that never faltered or missed a beat.
Completely useless, but oh so cute, was the keyboardist/ other guitarist who pouted and made kissy faces at the crowd throughout the show, blinding all those who stared at him with layers of facial glitter.
Halfway through the set, during Drenched In Blood, Von Helvete pissed off many a hipster as he proceeded to bathe the crowd with his cauldron of blood. With nowhere to go, hundreds of kids were covered in crap, as the singer wiped the remains across his chest.
The crowd went home happy, as the band returned for an encore, and finished with a number that was shouted out throughout the evening - I Got Erection. The audience sang along to every word, and Von Helvete got off on every minute of it.
