Chuck Nasty continues his harrowing tale of how he survived the first ever New York Comic Book Convention.
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Now that I had gotten inside the convention it was time to do what I came for. Give out some cds, get free stuff, and meet Aria Giovanni. I looked around at stuff for a bit, there is a section at these conventions called Artists Alley, where they usually put up and coming artists and indie comics.

I did my best to stay away from the front door considering the amount of security and people trying to get in. It was like Siagon 1975 when the US left Vietnam. So I am buying and looking at all kinds of crap. It was fun talking to the artists and stuff, but if they aren’t interesting and fun, I am generally not interested.

I bought a few silly comics, “Black Bastard,” about some blaxplotation looking fella doing stuff. The creator was also black and had a big ‘fro. He was nice and he signed the book. www.theblackbastard.com

I bought some other book about elves or some other kind of barefoot hippy thing. Which I will probably never read.

I met this guy that wrote an actual book which had no pictures in it called G33K MAFIA. Notice the 1337 in the spelling. Super. www.rickdakan.com

Then I met Justine Joli. She was also very nice and quite approachable. She had a table of DVDs available. Mostly Andrew Blake stuff which is referred to as “artcore,” kind of like pornography but lighter and more arty. Generally the girls are super pretty. We talked about Harry Potter and Star Wars. I told her I was going to come back and get something.

I met back up several times with Dan and Andrew they were waiting on some lines getting posters and books signed.

I went to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund booth. They usually have some cool stuff for sale. They had a T shirt that said “Fuck Censorship,” which in essence is nice. It had Savage Dragon on it, and Savage Dragon sucks. So I bought one with Hellboy on it. Hellboy does not suck.

Then I saw this one booth which was selling samurai swords. This was very exciting to me, for the simple fact that I have money in my pocket and I didn’t spend any to get into the convention.

“How much is the Hattori Hanzo sword,” I asked.

“Sixty Dollars.”

“Okay, how much is the cheapest sword.” Always looking for a deal.

“Thirty dollars. It is the Zatoichi Sword.”

And before she could finish I knew that was the one I was going to get. Zatoichi is the Blind Swordsman that walks around with the walking stick, which is actually a sword. He uses his left hand while drawing it. It is bad ass and cheap. She wrapped the sword nicely for me in a brown box.

Now I quest for Aria Giovanni.

Well I found her. Very pretty, and a lot shorter than I imagined but it was her and that is all that counts. I have seen this girl put her entire hand inside her vagina. According to a friend of mine, “all girls can do that, babies come from there.”

Well her booth has pictures and DVDs, some of which are the same as Justine Joli (because that’s what happens in movies like that, hot girls naked making kissy faces).

Anyway I really wanted to be nine tons of personality and say, “Oh my god you are pretty,” but no. The reality was I could tell she was lame. Cold and very airy in speech. Some thick-necked guy took ten dollars from me so I could have a picture with her. My only saving grace was giving the typical, “please baby you bother me now go away look.”

Then there was the people from Angry Drunk Graphics. They were fun and nice. They had a bunch of “edgy” comics which can honestly be pretty hit or miss. I was pleasantly surprised when I bought a book on title alone.

It’s a hit. Check them out at www.angrydrunkgraphics.com

Now I wandered around this crazy packed event. Holding this boring brown box with a weapon it. That is boring. There are fully-armored Stormtroopers with Blas Tech E-11 rifles out. Cloud Strife’s with gigantic Buster swords. “Fuck this, I am gonna carry my weapon around to.” I ditched the box.

Ten minutes later some dude comes up to me and says, “Is that a samauri sword your carrying?”

“Oh you better believe it is.”

It felt like Grand Theft Auto, or Oldboy or something. I probably looked like a maniac. Maybe not considering all the other wierdos there too.

Back to girl watching.

I go back to Justine Joli. I ask her if she does pictures.

“Yes five dollars.”

“Awesome. Will you hold this sword to my throat and take the picture?”

Needless to say, that statement kind shocked her.

“They let you bring that in here?” She asked nervously.

“No way. I bought it here!”

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Baby, I trust you. I believe in you.” At this point I am humoring myself thinking, “I could probably fuck this girl.” So here is the picture. I gave her a full length cd and she gave me a big hug. I sent her the picture through email and she actually wrote back to me which was nice. Aria Giovanni, probably would’ve had the thick-necked man pound me into the ground if I pulled out the sword.

Totally random harajuku girls were just very excitable and delightfully asian. They gave me some free pins with little frogs and explosion looking things on them. I asked them to pose for a picture. They knew what to do.

And finally!

Captain Schoolgirl. A funny inventive comic made by people from New Jersey. A tongue-in-cheek book about a girl with very “high” school spirit. No pun intended. The comic comes with a DVD episode of the real Captain Schoolgirl doing cute things in a schoolgirl outfit (go figure). She actually did a cover of a music magazine that I like called Lolipop as well. We spoke. I gave her a cd and we took a picture.

I have said this once, I have said it a million times since. We look adorable.

That folks was about it. Dan and Andrew were happy with their purchase and with the show in general, aside from the whole getting in fiasco. Looking forward to crashing another convention soon.

(Click to read part 1)