Respect the Dwarves Slut

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 by George Koroneos

The Dwarves, Turbo A.C.’s, The Ratchets, Lousy Break
Brighton Bar, NJ
January 25, 2007

Sure, most people would have killed to have seen The Dwarves kick some ass in New York City, playing at a premier night spot like the Knitting Factory. But what fun is that when you can check out the sleaziest band in the world in one of the trashiest locations in the world–The Jersey Shore.

Seriously, we’re talking ambiance like no other. There’s just something about a show so close to Asbury Park. The smell of dirty water, the bums loitering the street, the hypodermic needles sticking up in the shoreline. Ah Jersey. Not only was the venue perfect, but the bands reeked of the Garden State. The opening band, Lousy Break, lived up to their name. The band played really bad punk rock reminiscent of a lot of the early ’90s Jersey gutter-skin bands. Think City Gardens opening band. Nothing to write home about, but at least the band looked like they were having fun on stage.

The Ratchets were up next. This band has been riding the hype machine for a few years and the buzz is real. These guys sound like they were born to rock New Brunswick, NJ in 1995. When the don’t sound like The Clash (not a bad thing), they rock out like early Bouncing Souls and Lifetime. Good stuff.

As 11 o’clock approached The Turbo A.C.’s, took the stage and took the show. Playing songs off their most recent records and a few older numbers, the band just killed it. To top it off, singer/band leader Kevin Cole added a second guitarist, bolstering the band’s sound, and allowing him to dabble a lot more in surf-style leads. These guys have been around forever, but the rock isn’t fading. They just keep kicking ass. Too bad they didn’t play “Magic Bullets.”

I’ve waited a good portion of my life to see The Dwarves. It seems like every time they hit the area, no one knows about it until after the show. Luckily, this tour got a little more promotion, and the band’s latest record, “The Dwarves Must Die,” is their best yet. The band got the crowd going early as Hewhocannotbe named strutted on stage with his signature Lucha mask and diaper. Singer Blag Dahlia stirred the crowd into riot, diving across the stage as fans (mostly old men and 13 year old girls) screamed at him like he was the messiah. The band crunched out song after song for what seemed like 15 minutes… and then walked off stage. House lights came on, fans moved to the bar. End of story.